First Baby Unicorn Discovered

SALTA, Argentina –

A group of botanists were studying the affects of deforestation on plant life near Salta when one member came upon an amazing discovery: a baby unicorn. The group gathered around the animal and reported that it showed very little fear. One member gently began to pet the mythical creature and said it made “cute baby noises.”


Several members stayed with the young unicorn, while others searched the forest for its mother, finding no luck.

“It looks to have gotten lost,” the groups leader said. “It’s an absolute doll. We didn’t want a predator to get it, so we put it into a knapsack and took it out of the forest.”

While unicorns have been mostly debunked as myth, many people around the world have claimed their existence, albeit elusive, for centuries, and those believers may now have found redemption. Many think with humans pushing deeper into animal habitat it was a matter of time before a modern unicorn was discovered.

The unicorn has been transported to Buenos Aires where it is said it will be safeguarded and, many hope, soon be shown publically.

However, Unicorn expert Timothy Neighbors said the unicorn faces danger now that it’s in a government’s hands.

“Its horn, the alicorn, has great medicinal powers,” Neighbors said. “Ctesias’ writings (a 5th century BC physician) said the dust filled from the horn protects against deadly diseases if mixed into a potion; furthermore, ingested unicorn blood can create immortality in humans. So I believe this unicorn will be kept secret and its blood sold to the very rich, which is exactly what has happened in the past. I’m glad the scientists found it and were able to capture photos, but the establishment will shut this down, labeling it a hoax, and the scientists will likely be threatened with their lives if they don’t deny their findings.”

Neighbors encouraged people to share the story widely and then pressure the Brazilian government and the United Nations to allow the unicorn to be seen by the public and released into the right hands for proper care and protection.

“I don’t want this baby unicorn exploited for its blood,” Neighbors added. “People need to do something right now.”

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