Me: So, Jake. My friend told me about the story you posted on Facebook and I looked it over. Why do you have a pet black widow and why did you try to get it stoned?
Jake: Man, people are giving me so much grief about this right now. I just like black widows. They’re cool looking. It’s not really a pet because I can’t pet it, but I have a spider aquarium and it’s for looking at.
I was getting super high with my buddies and decided to blow pot smoke at it.
Wasn’t my idea, though. My friend Jay wondered what it would do if we got the black widow baked. Would it fall off its perch? Get the munchies?
Me: So how did you get bit?
Jake: Keep in mind, I was REALLY HIGH and wasn’t thinking. And Jay wasn’t sure if the spider was getting high after I carefully blew the smoke in, because it was just sitting there, so I got up close and blew the pot smoke right in Andrea’s face and she somehow got onto my neck and freaking bit the shit out of me! So I went to the hospital and it was swollen BAD and I had to stay the night, but it’s all good now. The bite’s healing.
Me: How is Andrea?
Jake: Jay wanted to kill her because he was PISSED, but she’s my spider and I actually love her. I know she didn’t mean it personally. I shouldn’t have been trying to blow pot smoke in her face.