JACKSONVILLE, Florida –
Tito and Amanda Watts were recently jailed for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people in Jacksonville. The couple misrepresented their product by telling buyers the tickets were made of solid gold when, according to police, the tickets to heaven were actually spray painted pieces of wood made from cut-up two by fours.
The product misrepresentation led to their quick arrest. 
We were contacted by Jim Troubles, a close friend of Tito’s, who agreed to relay a jailhouse letter from Mr. Watts:
Dear Friends,
I know my storie have been scene by many people. The police say I did something illegal, but the tickets were solid gold given to me by the real Jesus. I swear to God!! Instead police has framed me by making fake golden tickets made out of wood saying they’re mine (they’re not. I don’t lye), because they know I’m going to win the election for The President of the United States in 2016 and legalize crack cocaine and LSD. I smoke crack and I’m not ashamed (it’s healthy). Police (pigs) don’t want me to make rock cocaine legal because they’ll have to fire a bunch of badge bunnies who make their living busting drug users. Isn’t this the land of the free? Why can’t good citizens freebase cocaine? The devils in blue going to try to send me to prison for long time on drug and fraude charges. I also think they’ve been raping my wife. I had a dream they did (gang bang).
You have to tell police I’m innocent. Please protest Jacksonville jail and send the Jacksonville Sherffiff’s Office letters, emails and texts demanding they let me out so I can make this country a better place (when I’m President.)
I know you’re all good people and care about my injustice and want to help me.
I Love you,
Tito Watts
Tweet #freetito to help Tito out