Me: I saw your Facebook page and had to know: You REALLY want to marry the moon?
Bob: That’s right.
Me: Why?
Bob: One night I was stargazing and there was this lovely full moon and I stared at it all night and when the moon went away and the sun came up I felt a heart sickness like never before. I knew right then that I loved the moon and I had to marry it.
Me: This is a joke.
Bob: This is no joke.
Me: C’mon.
Bob: I’m not kidding.
Me: How do you plan to marry the moon?
Bob: Obviously, I need to go there. I want to marry it and then have moon babies.
Me: Okay. You’re full of shit. What’s a moon baby?
Bob: I put my penis in a moon hole. Nine months later a moon baby comes out.
Me: What does a moon baby look like?
Bob: A small moon with human legs, hands, etc.
Me: How are you going to get to the moon?
Bob: Well, I need money to hire Virgin Galactic, Richard Branson’s company, to fly me to the moon.
Me: And you need an astronaut suit.
Bob: No. The moon is also in love with me. I didn’t explain that. It will use its moon powers to make sure I don’t need oxygen or food and water.
Me: How much money do you need?
Bob: As much as I can get. I have my bitcoin address. Would you put it up so people could maybe help donate bitcoin?
Me: Sure. Why not.
Bob: I know you think I’m joking. But I stay up every night — when it’s not cloudy — and stare at the moon. I’m dying. I must be with her. I absolutely must be with the moon.
Me: Are you and the moon engaged?
Bob: We’ve been engaged for three years. I bought her a lovely diamond ring. I just need the money to get there.
Me: I think readers have it. Anything else you’d like to add?
Bob: I would appreciate if other men didn’t stare too much at my fiancé. I know she’s pretty, but I get jealous when I see another man looking at my moon.
Me: Okay. Thanks, Bob.
Bob: Please have people help me.
Me: I’m getting this online right now. We’ll get you making moon babies.
Bob: You’re a pal.
Me: Okay. Nice talking with you.
Bob: Thank you. Thank you so much.
Bob’s bitcoin address: 1AutSLrv14buRkMuf86UGgCexr3h9Eo9iS