AUSTIN –
The State of Texas has added another way to execute death row inmates — blood draining and guillotine. Engineered by Germany-based F-Solutions, Inc, the sleek modern guillotine is designed with a fierce look in hopes it will deter criminals from carrying out despicable and violent acts.
The antique blood draining apparatus was acquired from an English medical museum and will be used to slowly drain the inmate’s blood.
“Texas has always been tough on crime, but we’re now getting mega-tough. We want criminals to know that your blood will be drained or your head will be sliced off if you commit crimes punishable by death in the great state of Texas,” Tom Bushman of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice said.
This gives new meaning to the phrase Don’t Mess With Texas and perhaps a blaring signal to Texas criminals that they might want to relocate to another state or country.
John Abes from the National Medical Research Council said that blood draining is extremely painful and barbaric — apparently, a 19th practice that only lasted a few years in Italy.
“After the blood is drained the victim has about ten seconds before death,” Abes said. “The F-Solutions guillotine should be painless, at least from the mannequin studies I’ve seen. But it’s still a terrifying way to go.”
Early critics are outraged by Texas’ latest development in capital punishment.
“I admit these machines scare the baloney out of me,” said John Turtle of People Against Capital Punishment. “But capital punishment doesn’t deter crime and this will be unbelievably inhumane. We’re no worse than the criminals.”
Bushman disagrees: “Look, I know capital punishment hasn’t quite reduced crime enough, but that’s why we’re upping our game. Just the sight of these devices I think will cause criminals to think twice, maybe more than twice, before serial killing, etc.”