SEATTLE, Washington –
The Nahoos family decided to use their thirty-two-year old son’s untimely death to make some extra cash. The family sold tickets to Jon’s funeral priced from $20 all the way $500 for front row seats.
Jon Nahoos was a beloved member of the Seattle community working as a highly successful real estate broker and donating large amounts of money and time to various charities. He died of a sudden heart attack on New Year’s eve after a massive coke and alcohol binge.
He had been estranged from his parents for years citing “all they wanted was my money.”
His parents, Chuck and Nancy Nahoos, denied Jon’s claim, but did see a real opportunity to “make some good money off Jon’s popularity.”
“This is America,” Chuck Nahoos said. “We’re capitalists. There was limited supply and a huge demand — seven-hundred people wanted to attend Jon’s funeral. The wife and I want to go to Hawaii and I’ve had my eye on Buick Enclave for a couple years. Why not make the money and make our dreams come true? He accidently forgot to include us in his will, so we made up for his mistake. Jon would have wanted us to.”
“Disgusting people,” Jon’s closest friend, Skyler Stimpert, said. “But I think mostly everybody bought a ticket. I paid five-hundred for a front row seat. I estimate Jon’s parents made $100,000 off the whole sordid affair.”
Stimpert said the parents added insult to injury by selling liquor and food at the wake.
“They had a full-bar, $30 plates of food and they actually hired a Billy Joel cover band. They billed the wake as an ‘after party.'”
Chuck Nahoos said the band was free, used an enticement to get as many people to the wake as possible. They wanted to “lighten up the mood” with a real party.
“We had a pretty good turn out. Good food. Music. Lots of liquor. Was a great party,” Chuck Nahoos said. “A lot of Jon boy’s friends seem upset with us, but we are donating $150 from the proceeds to Jon’s favorite charity.”