OMAHA, Nebraska – Crowned late last night, Sarah Clumer, the new Ms. Thanksgiving, shocked the crowd during her acceptance speech.
“I only entered this lamo pageant to win the prize money and the scooter,” Ms. Thanksgiving said. “I hate Thanksgiving. I’m a vegan. I’m thankful for nothing. Everything I’ve gotten in this world I’ve gotten myself. Nobody helps me. Only I help me. I would say thanks for the cash and scooter, but I’m not thankful. ”
Ms. Thanksgiving then left the stage grabbing her buttock and mouthing: “kiss my *ss.”
Above: Ms. Thanksgiving smoking backstage
“She was a nasty, nasty girl,” a fellow contestant said. “She was smoking pot and cigarettes backstage and she kicked my cat. But in front of the judges and crowd she played little Ms. Perfect. I’m going to start a prayer chain for her.”
Organizers say next year they will do a better job filtering out candidates.