Pit Bull Addicted to Pit Bull Energy Drink

CHICAGO, Illinois —

Jovantay Jackson loves Pit Bull energy drink. He chugs three of four every morning and pounds a couple for lunch. One day, he dropped a can on his kitchen floor, and watched his pit bull, Randy, lap up the energy drink. After that incident, his dog became addicted.


“I already trained my pit bull to be ultra-aggressive. I give it a swift kick in the nut sack every morning just to keep him pissed,” Jackson said. “I live in the ghetto and Randy is my protection. Can’t have no pussy dog in the hood. But now that Randy’s addicted to Pit Bull energy — he’s mad crazy. He wants to attack everything. I’m so proud of my dog.”

Jackson now keeps Randy’s water bowl continuously filled with Pit Bull energy drink.

“He don’t need water no more,” Jackson said. “All he needs is Pit Bull.”

Jackson said Randy has become so aggressive that he once witnessed his dog attack a bull.

“Me and Randy was at the rodeo and he jumped the fence and attacked this big ass bull,” Jackson said. “He killed it.”

pit-bull-attack-bullJackson said he plans to rent Randy out to the Crips street gang so they can use the dog to maim and, hopefully, kill rival gang members.

“I figure I can get $200 a day for Randy’s services,” Jackson said. “Crips and I are both working right now, through our lawyers, to get a contract signed on paper. I want legal assurances that the Crips will pay me every dime I’m owed and that if Randy gets hurt or killed — they’ll cover the vet bills or the cost of a replacement pit bull. Thanks to Pit Bull energy drink, I’m no longer going to be unemployed. I’m going to become an entrepreneur.”

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