The Environmental Protection Agency Has a Serial Hallway Pooper

A regional office of the Environmental Protection agency is having trouble protecting its own environment from HUMAN FECES.

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According to GovExec, the HUMAN FECES problem in the Denver EPA office has gotten so bad that it has merited an internal memo.

Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building, including “clogging the toilets with paper towels” and “an individual placing feces in the hallway” outside the restroom.

Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management “consulted” with workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was “very dangerous” and the individuals responsible would “probably escalate” their actions. Possibly “moving from hallways to offices to smearing it on peoples’ desks or computers or even putting feces in food and drinks.”

Nicoletti speculates it’s likely an ‘inside job’ done by an EPA employee.


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