Worldwide Toilet Paper Shortage In 2015!

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin – The World Forest and Paper Association reports there will be a severe worldwide toilet paper shortage in 2015. The problem stems from severe deforestation of pulp woods globally, reduction in recycled paper and, obviously, a grievous resource miscalculation by industry leaders. toilet-paper-shortage WFPA released a brief statement: “We realize this is going to be an inconvenience for a lot of people. Just know that we’re sorry. We can’t say sorry enough. People make mistakes.”

What to expect?

Prices will rise. Six rolls of Charmin toilet paper currently averages $7. This is expected to rise to $80-$90. This will leave many priced out of the toilet paper market. It should also be noted, that this not only affects toilet paper, but also tissue paper and paper towels.

What can the average consumer do? Use less!

List of alternatives: 

  • Use one square of TP per bowel movement.
  • Drip drying for women. This will reduce need for vaginal wiping.
  • Go less. Store it up. It’s psychological!
  • Use a hand, wash it off.
  • Turn the toilet paper over and use the other side.
  • Wipe with dish rags, rinse
  • Use recycled paper packaging (e.g. fast food bags).
  • Use your underwear after going, wash or rinse.
  • Spray hose. Use one outdoors or buy an attachable spray hose for bathtub or shower.
  • Wipe less. Once every three days can still provide moderate hygiene.
  • Use old socks and clothing.
  • Use stones.
  • Use leaves.
  • Use sponges.
  • Use snowballs.
  • Use banana and/or orange peels.
  • Get creative!

It is advised that consumers stock up with a year’s supply now while prices remain normal.  For a family of four, this means buying roughly 110-220 rolls of toilet paper. WFPA expect supplies to possibly rise to near normal levels in 2016 as many fast growing softwood tree farms are coming online.

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